Vulnerability

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

The above is a link to a ted talk by Brene Brown, a professor/researcher of social work and avid story teller. I watched the above talk after it was recommended to me by a friend.

I found it highly inspiring, truthful, and fundamentally beautiful. I suggest you watch it, if you'd like...

In it Brene discusses vulnerability: everyone has feelings of vulnerability, yet most of us hide them. we suppress, we "numb"... however, when we numb the pain, disappointment, and vulnerability, we unfortunately also numb our potential to feel joy, happiness, connectivity. we can't choose to feel some emotions and not others. it just is not how we are wired.

So with a new year comes a new challenge: to remain open and loving and ACCEPTing of who we are with our own imperfections and shortcomings.

Story:

I was on the plane coming back from LA to NY last week and I was feeling fine. However, people (or "those fucking idiots") took the space where my bag was supposed to fit so I was stuck searching for another overhead compartment to stuff my roller bag in. Well, turns out a lot of other people were searching for their own spaces.

I had tried to squeeze my bag in one compartment but failed. Then another girl tried to fit her bag in the same spot. I kind of just laughed sympathetically and said to myself (but aloud) "that won't fit"...and she was clearly offended and said "well why don't you just get a flight attendant for me".
*PAUSE*
Now here is usually where I would get mad and yell something back in defense, something like "well I'd get you one if I gave a shit...but I don't"
BUUUUUUUUT
instead I tried just breathing and then calmly told her I just sympathized with her.

Then she was standing in my row and I had placed my coffee cup under the seat (since there are no cup holders on planes) and realizing that was a stupid idea, just said to her "oh be careful because my coffee is underneath the seat. I don't want you to kick it". well, she obviously was not happy and said "well I am sitting here and will be a minute so you'll just have to deal"

*BREATHE*

(she walks to find a place for her dumb orange bag)

I find her license on the floor. I seriously debate holding on to it and not giving it to her...

*BREATHE*

I give it back to her. she says thanks in the most forced way.

We sit down next to each other.

Then I think, this could be the longest fucking 6 hours of my life and I could hold this grudge or I could just let it go. So I choose the latter and tell her "Look I didn't meant to be rude earlier, sorry if it came off that way"

and to my surprise she totally backed down and also apologized. said that someone had cut her off and since her arriving on the plane she had just wanted to kill someone. I said I understood and then she said "I guess we can be friends for the next few hours"

well, turns out she is this awesome person and we totally talked for most of the way. after our initial "shit, uh oh, you suck and I'm right" we realized that we had it all wrong. She is this poet and we talked a lot about the similarities in poetry and music, and all the arts. how to create flow, how to communicate, how each is beautiful and expressive in its own way. she said something interesting regarding how when she's writing she likes to taste the words, feel them, hear them... we talked about classical music, orchestra functioning, hip hop, poetry, gadgets, etc. It was actually a great conversation and we were both happy that a potentially sour situation proved to be rewarding.

I guess it is possible to acknowledge yet not indulge in anger.

new years resolution: to be more open, loving, accepting, kind.

BREATHE.